| Location | Billingham |
| Age | 27 years |
| Date of Birth | 4/1976 |
| Date of Death | 11/2003 |
| Visitors | 4,260 since 19/09/2007 |
| Creator |
1976 to 2003
aged: 27
From: Billingham/teeside
stuart emers took his own life on 10/11/2003 .Special son of the late william and eileen,Loving brother of carolyn,shaun,mark,paul. A much loved Dad of liam and a cherished uncle.
Saturday 8th Nov 2003.
About 1-30pm i recieved a fone call to say you had took an overdose.Your girlfriend told me she had foned for an ambulance.I told her to ring me when you got to hospital to let me know what was happening.I sat worrying but at around 4-00pm you and your girlfriend turned up at my house,the hospital did not do a stomach wash because you had only took steroid tablets which they said would not harm you.The hospital staff were waiting for a psychiatrist to see you but you just walked out of the hospital.You sat and had a cuppa with me and a chat and then you and your girlfriend left to go home.
Sunday 9th nov 2003.
At about 10-00am you came to mine upset and angry because you and your girlfriend had been arguing the night before and you had got into a fight with her dad,but you both apoligized to each other afterwards.As you were leaving mine you said "I will go home and probably find shes left me and took the baby".About half an hour after you left mine you foned me asking me to come round yours, his girlfriend had left you and took your son while you were at my house earlier. Myself and my three children came straight to your house,you were so upset,crying and saying his girlfriend meant everything to you without them you had nothing. Myself and my three children sat with you telling you your girlfriend would be back because she had left all your sons clothes and babythings at yours. Me, Matthew and Andrew left yours at 2-00pm that day,Carrie-Anne stayed with you she came home at teatime said you were in a right state upset,crying,walking round the house.I foned you at 7-45pm that night you were still upset you said to me"Im thinking of hanging myself",told you not to be so stupid and to come to my house.You got to mine at 8-15pm,you seemed to have calmed down a bit but you were still talking about your girlfriend. You said to me "I think i love my her more. We sat chatting then at 9-15pm i went up to bed left you watching tv with Carrie-Anne,Matthew and Andrew.
Monday 10th nov 2003.
I got up at 7-00am got the kids up at 7-30am,for school apart from Matthew who was poorly so wasnt going to school. You got up at 8-10am i told you you should have stayed in bed, you couldnt sleep you told me. I was going out at 8-30am you asked me to drop you off at home, and when i got there her mam said she was still in bed. So i foned you to let you know. I didnt know that would be the last time i would hear your voice.I went round the town shopping and when i had finished was going to come straight to yours it was 11-30am, then thought no i will go round later.
At 1-00pm i decided to go xmas shopping over the town,Matthew went with me. At the back of the town we saw his girlfriend and told her to go round and see you,she said she had been round on the mornin and was going back round to see you later that day. At about 1-35pm after i had finished shopping me and Matthew came to see you,knocked on the front door,no answer,tried back door it was locked,i knew you were in your car eas on the drive.I knocked and knocked on front door,finally tried the handle the door opened which was odd because you never used the front door.No sign of you in the living room,i stood at bottom of stairs shouting up to you,still no answer.Told Matthew to stay at bottom of stairs with shopping and then i began to run up the stairs,only got 3 to 4 stairs up and i got this terrifying feeling ,i turned and ran back down the stairs screaming at Matthew that you were dead.Matthew said he wanted to see you i told him no and pushed him into the living room,i closed the door behind me an didnt hesitate i ran up the stairs, at the top was a load of things on the landing i didnt take any notice of them. I think i knew in my heart what i was about to see, thats why when i looked to my right i looked straight up at the loft opening, you had hung yourself,the colour and the way yoiur face looked was so frightening. I remember just bending over and screaming and screaming, Matthew was telling me it was not my fault.I pushed Matthew out the front door ran out after him,i nearly knocked the next door neighbours front door down,i told her i had just found you.I foned 999 they asked me if i could get you down,but i told them i couldnt and i was too late. I heard sirens, a paramedic ambulance came he ran into the house but appeared not long after,i said to him "i was to late wasnt i you were dead". The paramedic said you had been there for a couple of hours. I kept thinking if i had come back round at 11-30am that morning i might have been able to stop you or even save you.I am so so sorry i did not come back round.Within the next 5-10 mins an ordinary ambulance turned up and then there was police everywhere,they could not rule out suspicious circumstances,i was interviewed and the police would be round mine that night for another statment. I had foned our two brothers Shaun and Mark after i had foned the ambulance panicking and told them what you had done they came round to your house but no one was allowed in, we were all outside.I ahd foned a friend asked her to collect my youngest Andrew from school.We left yours at 3-00pm, i walked down the road to meet Andrew and my friend, as we were leaving the doctor turned up i knew what for to pronounce you dead. My friend took me and Andrew home and foned my doctors and told them what had happened, at this point i had gone into shock, the doctor told my friend to up my diazepam and he would come to see me at the end of surgery.When the doctor came we sat for about an hour talking ,he told me you would not have felt anything,you would have broken your neck straight away.
For the next 9 days i was totally doped because of the medication the doctor had put me on.I arranged your funeral, we came to see you every day at the chapel of rest.
Nov 19th 2003.
Your flowers arrived all mornin off family and friends for your funeral.The girlfriend came to mine,she was going in the cars with the rest of us.The cars arrived outside my house,i came out and stood talking to you telling you it was the last timr you would be round my house and that i hoped i had done my best for you with your funeral arrangments.I finally got in the funeral car,then it hit me what you had done,that i wouldnt see you anymore,thats the first time i cried since you had gone i felt like my heart had been ripped out.
Six months passed and his girlfriend started to let me see liam, it got i babysat him 1 night a weekend,after about 1 year she stopped asking me to babysit.To this day it is about one and a half years since i last saw your son.
April 2004
At your inquest the police said they had found a knife in your bedroom doorway which you had used to cut the rope to the lenghth you knew you needed, they found your metal toolbox on its side, u had stood on that and then kicked it away knowing you would die. Your postmortem showed you had taken a large amount of paracetamol before hanging yourself. The hospital report said you were classed as a low suicide risk. The cause of death was asphyxiation due to hanging, and he killed himself thats whats on your death certificate.
I hope people on this site dont judge you as a coward, you could not live without the one person you loved more than anything.
We your family love and miss you so so much.We will be together again one day soon.Your loving sister carolyn.xxxxxxx
Missing you....
Missing you so much stu,it still hurts so much,thought as time went by it would get easier but it doesnt.Wish you were still here with us all.Think about u every day.Thank you for coming through to marie and giving her a message for me about ur funeral,im glad i done you proud.Love now and forever Carolyn.xxxx
I am so Sorry
After reading this i was Filling up. No body judgers a Person who does that he had a lot of things gone in his head my thourts and prays go out to you
REST IN PEACE STUART
nyt stuie i love you to bits and will always miss you loads i can not wait to come and have a party with you up there i love you soo much see you soon love matthew x x x
when tomorrow starts without him, Don't think ur far apart, For every time you think of him,hes right there, in your heart.x
----HAPPY NEW YEAR
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When tomorrow starts without me
And I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today
While thinking of the many things
We didn't get to say.
I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you.
And each time that you think of me
I know you'll miss me too.
But when tomorrow starts without me
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name
And took me by the hand.
If we could bring you back again,
For one more hour or day,
We’d express all our unspoken love;
We’d have countless things to say.
If we could bring you back again,
We’d say we treasured you,
And that your presence in our lives
Meant more than we ever knew.
If we could bring you back again,
To tell you what we should,
You’d know how much we miss you now,
And if we could, we would.
Our memories build a special bridge
When loved ones have to part.
To help us feel we're with them still
And soothe a grieving heart.
Our memories span the years we shared,
Preserving ties that bind.
They build a special bridge of love
And bring us peace of mind.
As New Year approaches
It seems harder this time of year
We miss you so much more
The only thing that gets us through
Are the memories of before
So here's a card just for you
To show how much we care
I know your waiting with the angels
One day I'll see you there.
Thoughts Today Memories Forever
Angela(Christopher-John Rowe)Mum
I would like to thank everyone for all the candles, tributes gifts and kind words they have left on Christopher’s website I appreciate every single one.
I would also like to wish you all A Happy New Year & my best wishes for 2009.
Angela X
Friday 2nd January
to stuart and my friends on site.
Firstly i must say i am so so sorry for not lighting candles lately for all our loved ones,my comps on the blink big time,it has took me an hour to get on site.
Stu was thinking about u yesterday on the 5th anniversary of your death.we all still miss and love you and always will.
Well stu,math passed his drivin test on thursday,u would have been so proud of him.It was his 18th birthday last tuesday,hope u had a drink with him.
Was andys birthday on the 31st october hes now 12yrs old.
Was my grandsons birthday on the 19th october hes (leo)2yrs old now.Its my birthday next wednesday as u know,that was the day of your funeral a birthday i wont forget.
I dont seem to have any time to myself lately,working all hours including nights.this wk im on training course all week its a really hard course,theres mountains of paperwork.I just hope i get a 100
percent to pass the course or i will have to do it again.
well stu i have gone on far to long going t bed im shattered.thinkin about you always.love caz and kids.
To my dear friend xx
I just wanted to say thank you
In a special kind of way
For all the messages and thoughts
You share with me each day
I've tried to think of all the things
That say how much I care
And so i'm sending special hugs
For all of you to share
It's a special kind of friendship
Of this you must agree
For we all live in different worlds
Some far across the sea
So i'm sending you this message
It's what I want to do
To say how much I really care
For everyone of you
Love always Barbara xxxx
Broken hearts and shattered dreams,
Life torn apart at its seams.
Hearts and minds in pain and sorrow,
Missing you more, today, tomorrow.
Time can't heal and words won't mend,
The loss we feel at this sad end.
However long 'till we meet again,
You'll be remembered , but until then,
We wait with hope within in our hearts,
We'll be together, no more to part.
Dear Caz been thinking of you last week and couldnt find you on GTS, take care love sheila
The Four Candles
Author Unknown
Sep 6 2008
The Four Candles burned slowly. Their Ambiance was so soft you could
hear them speak...
The first candle said, "I Am Peace, but these days, nobody wants to
keep me lit."
Then Peace's flame slowly diminishes and goes out completely.
The second candle says, " I Am Faith, but these days, I am no longer
indispensable. "
Then Faith's flame slowly diminishes and goes out completely.
Sadly the third candle spoke, "I Am Love and I haven't the strength to
stay lit any longer." "People put me aside and don't understand my
importance. They even forget to love those who are nearest to them."
And waiting no longer, Love goes out completely.
Suddenly...
A child enters the room and sees the three candles no longer burning.
The child begins to cry, "Why are you not burning? You are supposed to
stay lit until the end."
Then the Fourth Candle spoke gently to the little boy, "Don't be
afraid, for I Am Hope, and while I still burn, we can re-light the
other candles."
With Shining eyes the child took the Candle of Hope and lit the other
three candles.
Never let the Flame of Hope go out of your life.
With Hope, no matter how bad things look and are...Peace, Faith and
Love can Shine Brightly in our lives.
to stuart.
mornin stu,hope your keeping ok up there.
so much has happened lately,carrie-annes got a job,she started work about 2 wks ago so ive been looking after leo (my grandson).
ive got good news i start work on the 6th october in a care home for the elderly,i cant wait to start.i needed a job desperately.
matthews doing his theory again shortly,help him pass this time.hes in his second year at college plastering.andrews just started secondary school hes a bit like u hates school.ha ha.
you would be so proud of us all for the achievments weve made.keep watching over us,we miss and love you so much it still hurts.xxxxxx love forever caz.
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