Stuart Emers

1976 to 2003
aged: 27
From: Billingham/teeside

stuart emers took his own life on 10/11/2003 .Special son of the late william and eileen,Loving
brother of carolyn,shaun,mark,paul. A much loved Dad of liam and a cherished uncle.
Saturday 8th Nov 2003.

About 1-30pm i recieved a fone call to say you had took an overdose.Your girlfriend told me she had
foned for an ambulance.I told her to ring me when you got to hospital to let me know what was
happening.I sat worrying but at around 4-00pm you and your girlfriend turned up at my house,the
hospital did not do a stomach wash because you had only took steroid tablets which they said would
not harm you.The hospital staff were waiting for a psychiatrist to see you but you just walked out
of the hospital.You sat and had a cuppa with me and a chat and then you and your girlfriend left to
go home.
Sunday 9th nov 2003.

At about 10-00am you came to mine upset and angry because you and your girlfriend had been arguing
the night before and you had got into a fight with her dad,but you both apoligized to each other
afterwards.As you were leaving mine you said "I will go home and probably find shes left me and
took the baby".About half an hour after you left mine you foned me asking me to come round
yours, his girlfriend had left you and took your son while you were at my house earlier. Myself and
my three children came straight to your house,you were so upset,crying and saying his girlfriend
meant everything to you without them you had nothing. Myself and my three children sat with you
telling you your girlfriend would be back because she had left all your sons clothes and babythings
at yours. Me, Matthew and Andrew left yours at 2-00pm that day,Carrie-Anne stayed with you she came
home at teatime said you were in a right state upset,crying,walking round the house.I foned you at
7-45pm that night you were still upset you said to me"Im thinking of hanging myself",told
you not to be so stupid and to come to my house.You got to mine at 8-15pm,you seemed to have calmed
down a bit but you were still talking about your girlfriend. You said to me "I think i love my
her more. We sat chatting then at 9-15pm i went up to bed left you watching tv with
Carrie-Anne,Matthew and Andrew.
Monday 10th nov 2003.

I got up at 7-00am got the kids up at 7-30am,for school apart from Matthew who was poorly so wasnt
going to school. You got up at 8-10am i told you you should have stayed in bed, you couldnt sleep
you told me. I was going out at 8-30am you asked me to drop you off at home, and when i got there
her mam said she was still in bed. So i foned you to let you know. I didnt know that would be the
last time i would hear your voice.I went round the town shopping and when i had finished was going
to come straight to yours it was 11-30am, then thought no i will go round later.

At 1-00pm i decided to go xmas shopping over the town,Matthew went with me. At the back of the town
we saw his girlfriend and told her to go round and see you,she said she had been round on the mornin
and was going back round to see you later that day. At about 1-35pm after i had finished shopping me
and Matthew came to see you,knocked on the front door,no answer,tried back door it was locked,i knew
you were in your car eas on the drive.I knocked and knocked on front door,finally tried the handle
the door opened which was odd because you never used the front door.No sign of you in the living
room,i stood at bottom of stairs shouting up to you,still no answer.Told Matthew to stay at bottom
of stairs with shopping and then i began to run up the stairs,only got 3 to 4 stairs up and i got
this terrifying feeling ,i turned and ran back down the stairs screaming at Matthew that you were
dead.Matthew said he wanted to see you i told him no and pushed him into the living room,i closed
the door behind me an didnt hesitate i ran up the stairs, at the top was a load of things on the
landing i didnt take any notice of them. I think i knew in my heart what i was about to see, thats
why when i looked to my right i looked straight up at the loft opening, you had hung yourself,the
colour and the way yoiur face looked was so frightening. I remember just bending over and screaming
and screaming, Matthew was telling me it was not my fault.I pushed Matthew out the front door ran
out after him,i nearly knocked the next door neighbours front door down,i told her i had just found
you.I foned 999 they asked me if i could get you down,but i told them i couldnt and i was too late.
I heard sirens, a paramedic ambulance came he ran into the house but appeared not long after,i said
to him "i was to late wasnt i you were dead". The paramedic said you had been there for a
couple of hours. I kept thinking if i had come back round at 11-30am that morning i might have been
able to stop you or even save you.I am so so sorry i did not come back round.Within the next 5-10
mins an ordinary ambulance turned up and then there was police everywhere,they could not rule out
suspicious circumstances,i was interviewed and the police would be round mine that night for another
statment. I had foned our two brothers Shaun and Mark after i had foned the ambulance panicking and
told them what you had done they came round to your house but no one was allowed in, we were all
outside.I ahd foned a friend asked her to collect my youngest Andrew from school.We left yours at
3-00pm, i walked down the road to meet Andrew and my friend, as we were leaving the doctor turned up
i knew what for to pronounce you dead. My friend took me and Andrew home and foned my doctors and
told them what had happened, at this point i had gone into shock, the doctor told my friend to up my
diazepam and he would come to see me at the end of surgery.When the doctor came we sat for about an
hour talking ,he told me you would not have felt anything,you would have broken your neck straight
away.

For the next 9 days i was totally doped because of the medication the doctor had put me on.I
arranged your funeral, we came to see you every day at the chapel of rest.
Nov 19th 2003.

Your flowers arrived all mornin off family and friends for your funeral.The girlfriend came to
mine,she was going in the cars with the rest of us.The cars arrived outside my house,i came out and
stood talking to you telling you it was the last timr you would be round my house and that i hoped i
had done my best for you with your funeral arrangments.I finally got in the funeral car,then it hit
me what you had done,that i wouldnt see you anymore,thats the first time i cried since you had gone
i felt like my heart had been ripped out.
Six months passed and his girlfriend started to let me see liam, it got i babysat him 1 night a
weekend,after about 1 year she stopped asking me to babysit.To this day it is about one and a half
years since i last saw your son.

April 2004
At your inquest the police said they had found a knife in your bedroom doorway which you had used to
cut the rope to the lenghth you knew you needed, they found your metal toolbox on its side, u had
stood on that and then kicked it away knowing you would die. Your postmortem showed you had taken a
large amount of paracetamol before hanging yourself. The hospital report said you were classed as a
low suicide risk. The cause of death was asphyxiation due to hanging, and he killed himself thats
whats on your death certificate.

I hope people on this site dont judge you as a coward, you could not live without the one person you
loved more than anything.
We your family love and miss you so so much.We will be together again one day soon.Your loving
sister carolyn.xxxxxxx